Boundaries are rules that we set with other people. These rules govern what they can and cannot do to or with us, but they also describe the consequences of what will happen if those boundaries are crossed. Setting boundaries is healthy, and for most people, this is just sort of done naturally. They’re happy to […]
God and the 12 Steps–Should God Be Taken Out of the Literature?
Religion and politics remain controversial topics that good edicate would suggest you leave out of Thanksgiving and Christmas Dinner conversation. However, though 12 step meetings have no opinion on politics, they do talk about God, and quite a bit. God and the 12 steps are so closely aligned that they’re pretty much inseperable. The idea […]
Meditation Course–Week 1 of Getting Back Into Meditation
Second only to step 10, meditation has long been the bane of my program, and though I’ve thought for a long time that I should try a meditation course, I kept putting it off and putting it off. The reason I thought I should try a course is that I’ve never really been able to […]
13th Stepping—The Biggest Danger in AA
AA is full of predators. I used to be one. 13th stepping is when someone with a lot of time sober (2 years+) hooks up with newcomers (people with little sober time—think 3 months or less). Just so we’re clear, the 13th step is not an actual step (it is the 12 steps after all…). […]
Published on SoberHustle—The Pain of Steps 6 & 7
Steps 6 and 7 are so incredibly important. I’ve written about them before for Solutions of North Texas, and they’re something I never tire of because of how powerful a role they play in deciding how happy or unhappy my sobriety is going to be. Here’s a little snippet of the post. The Pain of […]
Published in Recovery Today Issue 68: Am I Powerless? The First Step
Recovery Today magazine is an incredible publication that’s perfect for people like us. They recently published my experience with step 1. You can get Recovery Today free on your smart device here. Here’s a little excerpt of what I wrote. Am I Powerless? The First Step They say the first step takes the longest. I’ve […]
Steps 6 and 7—Separating the Living From the Dead
I recently wrote a blog post for Solutions of North Texas about steps 6 and 7 and how critical they are for anyone who wants long-term sobriety. The most pain I’ve ever felt in sobriety was from not working these steps. Here’s a little snippet of the article, but you can read the entire post […]
Step 1 of AA—Can It Be Done Perfectly?
Step 1 of AA: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (and drugs) and that our lives had become unmanageable.” I’m sure we’ve all heard this in meetings before: “Step 1 is the only step you have to do perfectly.” I always wondered what the hell that meant. How can a step be done perfectly? […]
How to Help an Addict
Trying to help an addict can be one of the most difficult and frustrating experiences of anyone’s life, especially if the addict has been using for a long time. The truth is that helping an addict is almost impossible when they’re not ready. So many of my sponsees are scared of sponsoring. They think they’ll […]
The Stages of My Alcoholism
The First Stage of My Alcoholism—It Runs in the Family I’m 14. We go to visit my grandmother. She’ll die a few years later. She’s drinking a handle of Jack Daniels by herself. It will be decades before I learn that my grandfather had decades of sobriety. It will be a decade before I learn […]
I Was Addicted to Xanax, and It Almost Killed Me
Being addicted to Xanax is like living in dark room with a slow strobe light. Wake up. Flash. It’s night time. Wake up. Flash. It’s the next morning and I’m lying next to a dumpster in the sun. Wake up. Flash. It’s a week later and everyone is mad. Wake up. Flash. I’m in the […]
Addicted to Meth—Why the Crystal Meth High Is an Awesome Lie
If heroin is a dragon, then meth is a vile, sleazy murderer, a slinking thief that slips a knife into your reality and leaves you wondering what’s true, what’s a lie, and who’s coming to kill you (when really it’s always been the meth). And yet when it whispers to you, it tells you these […]
This Is Why Heroin Is so Addictive
Opiates are my first love. If OxyContin was my first girlfriend, then heroin became my wife. Heroin is so addictive. So so so addictive. And the reason is simple. It washes everything away. The reason I loved OxyContin is that it gave me energy and made me feel invincible, something I loved early in my […]
Is Sober Living a Good Idea? What the Sober Living Environment Is Like
Sober living is probably the only reason I made it through the first six months of my sobriety. The environment in most sober living facilities is not nearly as bad as most people think it is. I was scared to go, but once I got there, I found something incredible: a large group of men […]
Writing Workshops Dallas Helped Me Finish My Addiction Memoir
About a year ago, I decided to write an addiction memoir in the style of Denis Johnson’s Jesus’ Son (my favorite short story collection of all time and a huge influence on my nonfiction). After finishing the first draft of the addiction memoir, which ended up at about 300 pages, I lost all momentum. The […]
God and Sobriety—My Story on The Way Out Sober Podcast
I recently had the incredible opportunity to be a guest on The Way Out Podcast this past week and had so much fun talking to Jason. It’s long, but we got into some deep spiritual shit. Give it a listen.
Addicted to Weed
I’m in an outpatient psychiatric facility, a partial hospitalization program I signed up for after a second suicide attempt. I’m smoking weed before I go in every morning, and I’m smoking as soon as I get out. They have a little questionnaire that you fill out every day. One of the questions is “Did you […]
What’s Rehab Like? It’s Like High School (Seriously)
I’ll never forget first time someone told me they’d been to a drug rehab. It was like talking to a leper. I was still using, and I would continue to use for another couple years. I’d never even heard of Cocaine Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous before. I had no idea what happened in rehab. I […]
Are Fanatical, Cult-Like 12-Step Groups Toxic For Recovery? Maybe
As far as what an addict/alcoholic needs to do to be successful in their recovery, there are many opinions and suggestions, and sometimes they can be so different that the newcomer doesn’t know what to do, what to believe, or who to trust. For someone who is new to 12 step meetings like AA, CA, […]
This Is Why Addicts Can’t Stop
You’ll hear a lot of reasons why addicts can’t stop doing drugs and why alcoholics can’t stop drinking, but the main reason they can’t stop is because they literally cannot stop—their brains won’t allow it. If they would, and they truly wanted to, I promise you that they could (some don’t want to stop, and […]
Is Cocaine Addictive? Yes and No
Depending on how you define addiction, there’s an argument to be made that cocaine is both addictive and not addictive at the same time. I know this sounds confusing, so let’s look at how we define addiction. Most normal people think of addiction as physical dependence: a junky can’t stop shooting heroin because, if they […]
Are You Sober If You’re on Suboxone? I Wasn’t
When I woke up in a detox in 2011, the doctor said, “We’re going to put you on Suboxone to wean you off heroin. We recommend you stay on for at least 6 months.” I laughed in his face. “You’re not sober if you’re on Suboxone man,” I said. “I used to snort that shit […]
My OxyContin Addiction Story
I was addicted to OxyContin for 7 years, but my story starts well before I ever touched a pill. I was 17 the first time I smoked chronic. It did something to me I’d never felt before. It freed me. Something in me had always been coiled, some gear wound too tight. It stopped my […]
What Addiction Is Really Like—My True-Life Recovery Story
On June 19th, 2018, I was able to tell my true-life recovery story on stage at the Moody Performance Hall thanks to an incredible opportunity from Oral Fixation and with the shrewd guidance of Nicole Stewart as my editor. The entire show, which featured many other performers in addition to myself, was based around a […]
