Writing Workshops Dallas Helped Me Finish My Addiction Memoir

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  • 1 min read

About a year ago, I decided to write an addiction memoir in the style of Denis Johnson’s Jesus’ Son (my favorite short story collection of all time and a huge influence on my nonfiction). After finishing the first draft of the addiction memoir, which ended up at about 300 pages, I lost all momentum. The editing process overwhelmed me. I wrote about how a local… 

I Was Addicted to Weed — This Is What It Was Like

This what it was like when I was addicted to weed. I’m in an outpatient psychiatric facility, a partial hospitalization program I signed up for after a second suicide attempt. I’m smoking weed before I go in every morning, and I’m smoking as soon as I get out. They have a little questionnaire that you fill out every day. One of the questions is “Did… 

It’s Not That I Want to Die | It’s That I Don’t Want to Exist

“I don’t want to exist,” is so much different from “I want to die,” and actually being suicidal, but normal people… well, they’ll just never get it. Depression is a bitch, and I’ve suffered from it my whole life. It’s hard to explain to someone who’s never suffered from it. It’s hard to explain the difference between being depressed and being suicidal. It’s even harder… 

What’s Rehab Like? It’s Like High School (Seriously)

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  • 7 min read

If you’re wondering what rehab is like, then let me just tell you my personal story about going to rehab. I’ll never forget first time someone told me they’d been to a drug rehab. It was like talking to a leper. I was still using, and I would continue to use for another couple years. I’d never even heard of Cocaine Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous… 

Are 12-Step Groups Cults? Are Groups Like PPG Toxic For Recovery? Maybe

In the recovery community, we have to grapple with this question all the time: are 12-step groups cults? The answer is complicated. As far as what an addict/alcoholic needs to do to be successful in their recovery, there are many opinions and suggestions, and sometimes they can be so different that the newcomer doesn’t know what to do, what to believe, or who to trust.… 

This Is Why Addicts Can’t Stop

You’ll hear a lot of reasons why addicts can’t stop doing drugs and why alcoholics can’t stop drinking, but the main reason they can’t stop is because they literally cannot stop—their brains won’t allow it. If they would, and they truly wanted to, I promise you that they could (some don’t want to stop, and that’s a different story). We call addiction a disease for… 

Is Cocaine Addictive? Yes and No

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  • 6 min read

Depending on how you define addiction, there’s an argument to be made that cocaine is addictive and not addictive at the same time. I know this sounds confusing, so let’s look at how we define addiction. Most normal people think of addiction as physical dependence: a junky can’t stop shooting heroin because, if they do, they go through withdrawals. For addicts like me, we know… 

Are You Sober If You’re on Suboxone? I Wasn’t | I Was Snorting Suboxone

Are you sober if you’re on Suboxone? I wasn’t — I was snorting Suboxone. It’s a question that many opioid addicts have to ask themselves, especially when facing the question of eventual Suboxone withdrawal. When I woke up in a detox in 2011, the doctor said, “We’re going to put you on Suboxone to wean you off heroin. We recommend you stay on for at least… 

My OxyContin Addiction Story

This is my OxyContin addiction story — and it’s rough. I was addicted to OxyContin for 7 years, but my story starts well before I ever touched a pill. I was 17 the first time I smoked chronic. It did something to me I’d never felt before. It freed me. Something in me had always been coiled, some gear wound too tight. It stopped my…