I'm an addiction / recovery / mental health blogger and a speculative fiction / nonfiction writer. I have a B.A. in English and an M.A. in Professional and Technical Communication. I'm a graduate of the 2020 Odyssey Writing Workshop. I'm a regular contributor to Recovery Today Magazine, and I've been featured on numerous recovery podcasts. I have personal experience with addiction and mental health. I have Substance Use Disorder (SUB), Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Bipolar II, Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED), and Binge Eating Disorder (BED), among others. I have been in numerous drug rehabs, detoxes, and mental institutions, so I understand from personal experience how the mental health system works. I have been published in numerous literary magazines, including December, J Journal, and Flash Fiction Online, among others. I LOVE when readers reach out to me! Always feel free to send me an email at awfout at gmail dot com. I can't wait to hear from you!
Chapter 1 BILL’S STORY (The AA Big Book Online) War fever ran high in the New England town to which we new, young officers from Plattsburg were assigned, and we were flattered when the first citizens took us to their homes, making us feel heroic. Here was love, applause, war; moments sub- lime with intervals hilarious. I was part of life at last, and in…
Addict behavior is wide-ranging and can be different for every addict, especially for different types of addictions. Here are a few addict behaviors that can be clear signs of addiction as you regularly see many of them at once: Using drugs or alcohol to solve problems Using drugs or alcohol regularly and excessively (like smoking weed all day long) Physical signs of depressant use (when…
An AA sponsor is someone who takes you through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Ideally, they follow the steps as outlined in the Big Book. Here’s what an AA sponsor does, why you need one, and what to stay on guard for. What an AA Sponsor Does While a sponsor’s primary job is to take you through the 12 steps, there are other things…
I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and when people ask me how to be in a relationship with anxiety — that is, how to be in a relationship with someone who has anxiety disorders — the first thing I think about is this: Patience. Being in a Relationship With Anxiety Requires Patience The hardest thing for me to…
Is Xanax an opioid? The short answer is no — Xanax is not an opioid; Xanax / Alprazolam is a benzodiazepine. What’s the difference? Benzodiazepines (Like Xanax) vs. Opioids Benzos and opioids / opiates are two very different classes of drugs that affect your mind and body in different ways. What Benzodiazepines Are Like Benzodiazepines (benzos) are a class of drugs that include Xanax, Valium,…
In AA Step 12 says, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.” When we think of step 12 in AA, we often think of the first part of the step — service, carrying the message, helping other alcoholics, sponsorship — but there’s much more to it…
Step 11 in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) is about much more than a single prayer, though the 11th step prayers are pretty solid. The 11th step in AA says, “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” If you’ve already learned how…
In AA step 10 is the beginning of the “maintenance” steps. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, step 10 reads: “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” Step 10 should begin while we’re working through our amends in step 9. You don’t have to wait until you’ve completed all your amends to begin step 10. In fact, it…
I recently appeared on The Courage to Change: A Recovery Podcast to tell my story about my addiction, my recovery, and what life is like now.
In AA step 9 says we, “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” In AA step 9 is humbling, and it’s hard, but thankfully, if we’ve worked through Step 8 with our sponsor, then we’re prepared. Step 8 is when we make our list and write down all the people we are or aren’t…