Are you sober if you’re on Suboxone?
It’s a question that many opioid addicts have to ask themselves, especially when facing the question of eventual Suboxone withdrawal.
When I woke up in a detox in 2011, the doctor said, “We’re going to put you on Suboxone to wean you off heroin. We recommend you stay on for at least 6 months.”
I laughed in his face.
“You’re not sober if you’re on Suboxone man,” I said. “I used to snort that shit all the time.”
He rolled his eyes.
“Well, we highly recommend it.”
“I’ll cold turkey it man,” I said. “Just bring me some Pepto-Bismol and Clonidine for the sweats and the shits.”
He didn’t bring me either. I think they were offended.
This was the first time I’d come across Suboxone in the recovery community. Every time I’d bought it in Kansas, I’d used it to get high. I’d heard you could shoot it with a little work, but I only ever snorted it.
It was kind of strange to think of it as a long-term solution to my heroin addiction.
Well, it wasn’t strange—it was stupid.
That being said, I gave up on day 3 of my detox and begged that man for Suboxone, promising myself that I would get off as soon as I could.
I put my morning dose under my tongue like I was supposed to and got instant relief.
I pretended to put my nighttime dose under my tongue, palmed it, and took it to my room to snort it.
It sure as shit didn’t feel like I was sober then.
Suboxone Is Great for a Lot of Things—Staying Sober Isn’t One of Them
It’s fantastic for a few things:
- If you’re dopesick, it gets you well fast
- If you know you’re gonna run out and can’t afford more H, it gets you through until you can
- If you’re using another opiate that only lasts a short while, it gets you through the night so you don’t wake up dopesick
I learned then that it’s apparently great for weaning off opiates too. I’d never bothered to use it for that purpose because I could never reduce the dosage.
Every time I used Suboxone, I got a shitty high, but a high nonetheless. I always wanted to use more.
I knew, in a vague way, that this wasn’t how it was supposed to work. I wasn’t supposed to crave anything while I was on subs, but I sure as hell did.
Suboxone is Buprenorphine plus Naloxone. The Naloxone is great—it doesn’t get you high on its own, and it reduces cravings. It’s like the VIVITROL shot (which is also awesome for opiate addicts and alcoholics in recovery).
Buprenorphine is different.
Are You Sober if You’re on Suboxone? Not If It Gets You High
It’s an opioid (it gets you high), but it’s a shitty high because the effect of it levels off above a certain dose (24mg/day).
Basically, you can take more than 24mg a day, but you won’t get higher. So that’s why it’s shitty and most opiate addicts don’t take it unless they either don’t have a choice or want to use it for the reasons I listed above.
Here’s a fancy graph to show you what I’m talking about.
You can see from the same graph why it’s better than Methadone if your goal is to get off heroin/oxy/morphine etc—you can keep taking Methadone and keep getting higher and higher, but with Suboxone, it doesn’t really work, so you just kind of stop and deal with your shitty high instead of doing too much and ODing.
Plus, when you’re on Suboxone, you can’t get high off of other opiates. You have to wait until you’re dopesick off of Suboxone until you can use heroin or OxyContin or something and get high.
It helps you not use more because you basically can’t without having to get dopesick (not that this stops many addicts).
And look, I’ll never say that Suboxone is a 100% bad idea. If you can’t stay off heroin (which is far, far more dangerous than Suboxone), and if Suboxone is the only way you can get away from heroin and stay off it, then that’s great.
If it helps you get your life back together, gives you the ability to work and stop stealing and stop hurting people and stop lying and cheating and all the bad shit that opiates make you do, then that’s great—it’s better than ODing and ruining your life and the lives of those around you.
It’s harm reduction, and for a lot of people, that’s the best they can do, and there’s no shame in that—it’s really really hard to stay 100% sober.
That being said, when I was on subs, I was for sure high. I didn’t feel it, but everyone around me could tell.
I Got off Suboxone Even Though Suboxone Withdrawal Is Rough
Being on Suboxone at the maximum dose did not feel like sobriety at all to me.
Remember, I was snorting these things in detox, and that was absolutely not my plan when I first got on them. I really did want to quit.
I was terrified to leave that detox because I knew I was going to walk out of there and get high, and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it.
I didn’t want to snort the damn things, but I was doing it anyway.
I felt so powerless, to the point that I confessed to our little process group that I was snorting them. My therapist told me I should tell the nurses so that they would make sure I took it as prescribed.
I did what he said. It didn’t work. I palmed it anyway. I kept snorting them despite that. I think the only way I could have stopped would be if the nurses held me down and forced me to take the pills the way I was supposed to.
Even when I switched to the strips, which thankfully couldn’t be snorted, I was still craving more of them after I took them.
They say Suboxone reduces cravings.
Maybe it does for a lot of people.
It sure didn’t for me.
They gave me a buzz, and even at lower doses, I was acting like I was high.
The rehab I went to required us to wean off Suboxone using the strips, and I thank the gods that they did, because there’s no way in hell I could have done it on my own.
When I finally weaned off, I got dopesick again. This is an important point—why would you have withdrawals if being on it was sober? That by itself is a sign that you’re not sober when you’re on Suboxone.
When I finally felt well enough to walk out of my room and rejoin everyone in rehab, I sat down next to this woman in the lecture hall. She turned to me and gave me the oddest look. I’ll never forget what she said.
“You look so different. I can see it in your face. Your face looks so… so healthy.”
That’s stuck with me through the years. When I went through Suboxone withdrawal, I underwent a physical change that others noticed.
I also lost a lot of the irritability that goes along with opiate use for me. I felt different. I looked different.
I was sober.
And I hadn’t been sober as long as I was on Suboxone.
Suboxone Isn’t Bad for Everyone—Make Your Own Choice
I knew when I stumbled drunk and high into detox that I wanted to be completely free of substances. I knew that I didn’t want to have to worry about running out of pills, that I didn’t want to be dependent on something ever again.
For me, Suboxone was great for getting me off heroin, but it was never a long-term solution.
It might not be the same for you.
Everyone has to make their own choice. Just make sure you’re being honest with yourself, and make sure you’re going to be okay with whatever choice you make.
So, are you sober if you’re on Suboxone?
You decide.
Suboxone has been a life saving med for me. I was a slave to the methadone devil for about 5 years and finally the methadone Dr made me an appt to come see him at his regular practice. This was in 2004/2005.. So subs were still a fairy new drug. I got down to 15 or 20 mg of methadone before making the jump to Subutex. I had no problems switching over. No precip. W.d…nothing. I felt like I’d finally beat the needles and the lifestyle led by a junkie. I’ve taken myself off and then back on subs several times with very little withdrawal.
Oh and by the way, the strips can be snorted and it’s pretty rad. You just cut about an 8th to a quarter of your strip and stick it inside the bridge of you nose. It’ll dissolve and you get more of the buperinoprhine in your system. The naloxone is only there as a deterrent so people want shoot strips or pills. Although I’ve seen many people do it without any consequence. The buperinorphine itself is what throws you into p.w.s NOT THE NALOXONE. The buprenorphine has a higher affinity for your opioid receptors so it will knock off any other opiate that may still hanging around in your receptors. That’s why it’s important to wait until your 1st dose of Sub.. In fact the naloxone was put into the suboxone just to get it passed through the DEA and all the powers that be over medication. There’s not enough naloxone to really have any effect at all. Like i said I’ve watched people shoot it up without consequences. I take anywhere from 8mg a day to 16 mg per day. Depending on how im feeling but i have gone up to 5 and 6 days without it and been just fine other than anxiety. Everyone is different and there’s no one size fits all formula but Suboxone has been a life saver for me. Im a single father raising a young daughter and doing it successfully. If I have to be on subs for the rest of my life then so be it. It’s no different than the man taking meds for his high b.p. or heart meds or whatever. I know it’s a crutch but it doesn’t get me high AT ALL…no one can tell Im on anything. Thank God I have Alabama Medicaid as well so i don’t pay a dime for 60 films each month. Good luck everyone and if my opinion helps you feel free to message me about whatever your concerns may be.
Thanks
Thanks for sharing your story Jason, and thank you for giving us your take on how subs work. I agree that they’re great for many people, and if they keep you from going back to harder drugs like oxy or tar, I think that’s fantastic. Harm reduction is a great thing.
I did look up what you said about Naloxone and found this article (https://www.drugabuse.gov/drug-topics/opioids/opioid-overdose-reversal-naloxone-narcan-evzio) about how Naloxone can make you dopesick, but I’m not an expert, so maybe there’s something I’m missing.
It says, “Naloxone is an extremely safe medication that only has a noticeable effect in people with opioids in their systems. Naloxone can (but does not always) cause withdrawal symptoms which may be uncomfortable, but are not life-threatening; on the other hand, opioid overdose is extremely life-threatening. Withdrawal symptoms may include headache, changes in blood pressure, rapid heart rate, sweating, nausea, vomiting, and tremors.”
I appreciate you reading and commenting!
So do you get high when you stick 2mg up the bridge of your nose. Im a dad too. Just had twins- would
Love to have a high feeling. Lol
It’s been a life saver for me to bud. Thanks for sharing, Jason. Still really interested in how it makes you feel when you take it nasally. Lol, I just tried it.
I would be very surprised if the strips actually did anything nasally. I wouldn’t recommend it lol.
Pretty sure the naloxone doesn’t do anything and it’s just there for show, I’ve injected the old stop sign 8’s, zubsolvs, and even the films (yes you can inject the film, let it dissolve and filter it using a wheel filter, make sure to use a wheel filter do NOT use anything else unless you want all kinds of crap in your syringe and inside your veins), and never had any kind of precip withdrawals. I believe bupe has a higher binding affinity than naloxone so even if you do inject it, the bupe blocks it.
I was addicted to opioids for 30 years. I wanted to stop for decades but refused to pay the price of withdrawal. I kept my addiction to myself and even my wife had no idea. Finally, after retirement, I had no way of traveling to Mexico for my job. Facing the inevitable, I tried to detox on kratom but after my eyes swelling and feeling like total shit, I confessed to my wife and family and checked into rehab. After 3 days of suboxone, I was taken off. Big mistake! I was sooo dopesick I couldn’t concentrate in lecture hall and damn sure couldn’t sleep. After 5 days I begged for Suboxone. The doctor convinced me I was a “perfect” candidate and would be weened off in 18-24 months. I didn’t care, just give me some relief. I got relief but the Suboxone made me feel so shitty and I had zero energy, which is far from my personality. After 30 plus days on Suboxone, my wife asked me to read a blog about people that were on the Suboxone “taper down”
Well, what I found were people that were very unhappy and wanted their life back. Many people had been on this “taper down “ for 5-15 years or more! I went cold turkey that night.
I went to rehab to get sober and I wasn’t. I have been off Suboxone for 75 days and I still feel terrible from 30 years of drug abuse but I’m slowly feeling better and IM SOBER!
This is my experience with Suboxone and I agree with Adam to make your own choice.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting Claude. I truly appreciate you, and I’m so glad to see how far you’ve come. You should truly be proud of yourself for fighting to be 100% sober and not fall back on a crutch. I know that it’s hard, but you WILL get through the detox. Your body will recover, and you’ll be so glad that you went through with it because you’ll truly be free. Thank you again for reading man—you’re awesome!
i guess it really does vary person to person.. for me, suboxone has been miraculous. went from smoking hundreds of dollars of fent daily to 2 months of brutal acute and post acute withdrawal. it was unbearable. 8mg of suboxone daily completely diminishes my cravings without getting me high. the most i feel is a slight relief if it’s been too long since my last dose. side effects are negligible. sometimes i can’t shit for a couple days and sometimes it makes me more tired that i feel i should be on a full nights sleep.. that’s literally it. no euphoria, no dragon to chase. and that’s how i prefer it. chasing an opiate high is a game the ends in death or prison. we all need to realize that at some point..
I’m so glad that it’s working for you man. It’s great that you’re not ruining your life anymore and that you’re not living that horrible life anymore. Way to go!
Suboxone is the only reason I’m alive and not in prison or in the hospital. I’ve been on it for 6 years now and will probably continue taking it for years to come. I was lucky enough to be able to get a very large supply so I don’t have to worry about doctors appointments and running out. It might not be “sober” but for me it’s definitely still recovery, and it’s a great feeling to know I’ll never have to use heroin or be sick ever again.
Glad it’s working for you man! I hope you stay off heroin forever.
Okay, so, about 5 years ago I went to rehab for the first time for a sever opioid habit. At the time, I had never even heard of Suboxone. But when the sickness came on in the first few days, and seeing everyone else feeling so much better on this miracle drug, I decided wth can it hurt. Fast forward 2 years later, by this time I realize that I’m still not myself, didn’t take interest in things that I use to, need to sleep 3 hours extra every night, no longer have the drive I once had. I knew I needed to get off so, completely on my own, I stopped for 30 days straight and was so physically and mentally sick that I barely left my bedroom the whole month. Finally, feel up to leaving the house and got these horrible anxiety attacks and I’ve never had anxiety in my life. I tried and I tried but the docs wouldn’t prescribe me anxiety meds cuz they’re not for previous users and it was the anxiety that made me go right back to the subs after I had put in allll that time off of them. I mean it was debilitating anxiety. Fast forward another 3 years, I’m still on them and I wish every day I could have my old self back. It’s to the point now where everything could be falling down around me but as long as I’ve had my sub for the day then I’d find a way to be okay with it. I used to be an ambitious, clean freak that always tried to be the best. Now, I barely get a shower once a week and could care less if I advance in anything.
It might take years to figure out, and it might seem great at first, but you are NOT YOU when you’re on suboxone. I’m still on it til this day but I can’t find the strength knowing how much it took from me the last time I tried. I JUST HOPE THAT YOU CAN…
I agree with you man. I didn’t feel like myself on subs. I hope you’re able to get off.